DUMOHome › Guides · Updated · By Kevin Lim, founder of DUMO Innovations
"I need to ask my boss / wife first": how to reply without losing the deal
What they meanHe often can't explain it well to the other person, or has his own doubt, so he stalls after going home.
Ask first"Of course, better decide together. When you show your boss, what will they ask about first? The price, the payment terms, or how fast you see results?"
Then send"If easier, I can join a 10-minute call with you and your boss on Thursday. Then I answer the questions directly, you don't need to be the middleman."
Why the deal stalls after he goes home
The customer liked the demo. The price didn't scare them. Then:
Or, in the showroom:
The most common reply:
Then you wait. Three days later you send "Hi, any update from your boss?" and get "still discussing". Your customer tried to explain it at dinner or in a five-minute chat with the boss. They forgot half of it, couldn't answer the first question, and the easy answer became "wait first".
Who is really behind "ask my boss"
- They really can't decide alone. Company purchases need sign-off. Big home purchases are often a joint decision.
- They're not sure how to explain it. They liked it, but can't repeat your pitch to someone who will ask hard questions.
- They have their own doubt. "Boss" or "wife" is a softer way to say they're not convinced yet, often about price.
- The other person has a different worry. Your customer cares about features. The boss cares about cash flow. The wife cares about the monthly instalment.
Each of these needs a different reply. One question tells you which you're facing.
Help him sell it for you
✅ Agree, then ask what the other person will ask
You stay on their side, and you learn what the decision really depends on. If they can't name anything, ask if something is still bothering them.
✅ Give them a three-line summary they can forward
Your customer won't remember your pitch, but they can forward this in one tap. Answer the question the other person will ask first, and leave the rest for later.
✅ Offer to talk to both of them
The boss hears the answers straight from you, and your customer can relax. If they say no, ask when they will decide and book your follow-up for the day after.
Copy-paste replies for each reason behind it
Ask one question to find out who or what is really in the way, then send the matching line.
| They say | Send this |
|---|---|
| Company purchase, needs my boss to sign | Makes sense. What does your boss usually check before signing? I'll put that on one page for you.He is a messenger. Give him what the signer needs, and nothing extra. |
| I can't explain this properly to my wife | No problem. I'll send 3 lines you can show her: monthly amount, what's included, warranty. Want photos too?Make it forwardable. He doesn't have to remember your pitch. |
| My wife worries about the monthly instalment | Understood. Shall I show you a longer plan, like RM199 a month for 60 months? You can compare both with her.Her worry is the monthly number, so show that number. |
| My boss only cares about cash flow | Then let me show the payment terms: 30% now, balance after installation. Want me to join a 10-minute call so I answer him directly?Different person, different worry. Offer to speak to him, not around your customer. |
| Actually I'm not sure myself | Fair enough. What's holding you back: the price, the timing, or something else? Better I know now than guess.Boss or wife is sometimes a polite shield. A direct, friendly question lets him say so. |
Practise these replies on an AI customer that pushes back. Free trial →
Before you hang up, fix the next step:
- Day 0: send the summary within 10 minutes of the chat.
- Day 1: ask, "Did your boss have any questions I can answer?"
- Day 3: send one new thing, such as a payment plan or a similar job nearby.
- Day 5: ask when they expect to decide, and agree on the day you will check back.
Three ways to lose the deal while you wait
- Going around your customer. Asking for the boss's number right away tells your customer you think they don't matter. They may still be the one who decides which supplier gets in the door.
- Pushing for a decision now. "This promo ends today, can you just decide?" puts them in trouble with the person they have to answer to. Most will say no to protect themselves.
- Chasing with "any update?" It asks them to admit nothing has moved. Follow up on the time you agreed, with something useful: a payment plan, an answer to the boss's question, or a similar job you did nearby.
What studies say about decisions made by more than one person
There is little research on this exact reply. Two well-cited studies support the idea behind the advice above: you are usually selling to more than one person.
- Family purchases are rarely one person's decision. A review of household buying research found that marketers have long relied on models built around a single buyer. It also called for more attention to who in the family is involved and how they decide together. So when a customer says they need to ask their wife, treat it as a normal part of the decision. Harry L. Davis, 1976, Journal of Consumer Research. doi:10.1086/208639
- In company buying, influence depends on the person. In firms that had recently bought an expensive, complex product, personal factors explained most of each person's influence on the purchase. Formal company structure mattered less. Asking what the boss cares about tells you more than knowing their title. Philip L. Dawes, Don Y. Lee and Grahame R. Dowling, 1998, Journal of Marketing. doi:10.1177/002224299806200304
Practise it before a real customer
DUMO SALES is an AI sales coach for Malaysian teams. Your salesmen practise replies like "need to ask my boss first" on their phone, with an AI customer built from your own products and prices. The customer goes quiet if you just say "ok, let me know", and opens up if you ask the right question. After each session, DUMO SALES analyses the conversation, scores it across 8 dimensions and coaches you on the line that decided the deal. Managers get a data-driven view of who needs coaching and which objections the team keeps losing on.
FAQ
What do I say when a customer says they need to ask their boss?
Agree, then ask what the boss usually looks at first: price, payment terms or results. Send a three-line summary that answers that, and offer to join a short call with both of them. Book the time before you leave the chat.
How do I reply when a customer says "let me ask my wife first"?
Treat it as normal. Many families decide big purchases together. Ask what she will want to know, offer to show both of them together on a call or in the showroom, and send photos or a short summary they can look at side by side.
How do I know if "need to ask my boss" is just an excuse?
Ask a specific, easy question: when will you see your boss, and what will they ask about? Someone who really needs approval will answer. If they stay vague and won't agree to any next step, the real concern is usually something else, often price or trust.